January 2012
December 2011
in honor of 2011 i have wasted the final day of 2011 just like how i wasted every other day in 2011
to make your new years’ sexcapades special and exciting, stick a lit sparkler in his ass! the more adventurous can try a roman candle ;)))
A Voicemail from Kristen’s Phone
BEAUTIFUL omg
OH.
um wat.
I can’t decide if it’s because I’ve been premenstrual or constantly stoned.

oh
shit
son
guess which smooth motherfu-
bicycle
where the fuck
are my cookies
where the fuck
did they go
Hi I’m Ted Allen, welcome to Chopped!
Please open your baskets.
And your first ingredient is: Plain old cabbage
Your second ingredient is: 2 plastic bags
The third ingredient is: A young rhesus monkey
And your final ingredient is: Some reams of paper
Ooooh that last one is going to trip up some of our competitors.
This is a great post good LORD
I made a Cabbage and Plastic Bag salad, with Fried Rhesus Monkey and Paper Croutons. The dressing is a Vinaigrette made with just a hint of Ginger.
I hate everything about everything on this plate.
finally told my parents they’re gay
































