brizzbee: honest-spy: digitonicelectronic: butwewereokay: bemusedlybespectacled: imsoweirdimnotanitimanith: mikulukashipblog: ok lets see if that thing with glasses chicks suddenly becoming super weird feminine when they whip off their glasses works woop well that was anticlimatic wait wait WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON What that is dumb and does not happen. Look,...
Cosmo tip #214
expertcosmotips: Gently rub his stomach and whisper, “Soon this will be plump with my seed”. Always do this on the first date.
elasticitymudflap: my dad just walked in and this was the only thing on my screen he just stared at me and told me to go to bed in a really quiet voice
You know who I love?
mrsjasonsegel: Julie Andrews. Julie, Fucking, Andrews. Julie, I look better than you even though I am 76 years old, Andrews. Julie, I am both Mary Poppins, Maria Von Trapp and the Queen of Genovia, Andrews. Julie, Queen of EVERYTHING, Andrews.
Can I just major in Disney?
Tumblr: Here, have some kittens...
Tumblr: Delicious food? There.
Tumblr: I bring you some beautiful, insipiring art...
Parents/Roommate: *walks into the room*
Tumblr: YOU SAID PORN?
Tumblr: DID I HEAR DICKS?
Tumblr: WHAT WAS THAT DID YOU MENTION HARDCORE GAY SEX?
Computer: HERE LET ME FREEZE
Computer: NOPE, NO SWITCHING TABS
president snow: you deliberately defied the capitol by making a mockery out of our games. what do you have to say for yourself?
Gale: You're on the phone with your baker he's upset
Katniss: oh no
Gale: Goin' off about some cake that he burnt
Gale: 'cause he doesn't know how to hunt like I do
Katniss: Gale stop
Gale: I'm in the woods it's a typical Sunday afternoon
Gale: I'm hunting the kind of squirrels he doesn't like
Gale: He'll never be able to hunt like I do
Gale: CUZ HE BAKES BREAD
Gale: I MAKE SNARES
Gale: HE EATS CUPCAKES
Gale: AND I HUNT BEARS
Katniss: Gale just stop